Pulau Perhentian

“What?! No alcohol on this island?” I stepped onto the island with a desperate, sinking feeling after 12 hours on the road n driving thru dense Malaysian forests so deep that if a pontianak appears around the car, I would hve yawned and said “I told u”.

After the first post, this pink bachelor has snugged off to a great tropical holiday in pulau perhentian (malaysia) where I have had a seriously good time under the aegis of a group of similarly pink friends guiding me through the dark valley of spinsterhood snorkeling several metres above the most amazing corals in waters that are so clear that i didnt dare pee into it for fear of causing a very obvious shade of “yellow” between my legs. You don’t get this from the usual murky waters of Singapore.

Astounding? Actually, in between ecstatic moments of getting high on too much sunlight and salted air, lay disappointing moments of how much more would I have enjoyed had I brought along a hot guy with me.

It didn’t help at all that it was veritably an island of love and sex. There were so many hot, young and fit surfer backpacker types — with girlfriends in tow. And perpetual smiles of post-coital bliss radiating through their body like chernobyl meltdown radiation. Tropical paradise?! Humbag!

In case these summon up images of me sulking at the beach and cursing every couple who go past me with the triple terrors of herpes, HIV and hemorrhoids, well that was true. At least in my mind.

There was practically zero pink presence on the island (coral species and sex changing fish of paradises don’t count). So it was a relatively austere, healthy trip with no alcohol, healthy-living hot tourists and sadly, no post coital bliss… but lots and lots of amazing snorkeling … And no post coital bliss.

“water water everywhere but not a drop to drink!” I said to a French lady with her hot undergraduate son who was at least while cruising to another island for snorkeling. And she thought I was just referring to the water.

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